Fear No More
Whether your son is afraid of the dark or your daughter is scared of spiders, every parent deals with a fearful child at some point.
While some people believe certain fears are innate, a study published in the December 2010 issue of Current Directions in Psychological Science suggests that many fears in children are actually learned.
“Parents play a big role in reinforcing their children’s fears,” says Catherine Hutter, PhD, clinical child psychologist at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. “In the same manner, when parents display confidence and the ability to cope with scary things, children are likely to follow suit.”
According to Dr. Hutter, the only fears that are unlearned are fears of loud noises—such as thunder—sudden movements and falling. Phobias, or unhealthy fears, can be harmful to a child’s healthy development if taken to the extreme, so it is important for parents to be mindful of their responses to particular situations because children may imitate their reactions.
Knowing When Fears Are Normal
Many fears are normal for certain age groups and only become problems when they interfere with a child’s ability to function. Children tend to develop certain fears at predictable times during their development. For example, children may experience separation anxiety around 8 to 12 months. Likewise, many children become afraid of strangers around the time they begin school. Children may also become afraid of the dark as young as age 2—partly due to isolation from their parents—when they begin to perceive normal nighttime sounds in the home as threatening. However, this fear usually resolves itself by age 5.
Being a Model Parent
Because parents are the primary examples for their child, keeping your own fears in check may help your child avoid becoming fearful of certain things as well. Help promote confident behavior in your little one by taking the following steps:
- Know what scares you, and watch your behavior when those situations arise. By disciplining yourself to react calmly in frightening situations, you can teach your child to do the same.
- Help your child practice his or her coping skills. Expose your child to potentially frightening objects or situations in a limited, controlled way (i.e., if your child is afraid of the water, get in shallow water with him or her or consider swimming lessons). Phobias often develop when a child feels he or she is not in control, so introduce new things little by little to minimize your child’s risk of adopting an unhealthy fear.
- Learn to recognize when your child needs help. If a child demonstrates a prolonged inability to tolerate certain situations, therapeutic treatment may be in order. Professional help can reduce the effects unhealthy fears can have on your child and put him or her back on the road to a normal, carefree childhood.
If you are concerned about your child’s fears, call 314.454.KIDS (5437) or toll-free 800.678.KIDS for more information or a referral to a pediatric psychologist at St. Louis Children’s Hospital.
