A Step Toward Independence

Your 13-year-old daughter asks if she can start staying at home alone like her best friend does. But how do you know if she’s ready?

“There isn’t a set age when children are ready to stay at home by themselves,” says Sharon Rau, RN, community education instructor at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. “A child’s readiness for this step depends on a number of factors, including whether or not your child feels comfortable on his or her own.”

To determine whether your child is ready to take this important step forward, try leaving him or her alone for five or 10 minutes while you check the mail or walk the dog, and consider slowly extending the time you spend away.

“When you return home, watch your child’s reactions,” Rau says. “If he or she appears nervous or hesitant, the child may need more time to adjust. On the other hand, if he or she is excited, your child may be ready to begin staying home alone.”

Structuring Alone Time
Once you and your child have decided he or she is ready to stay home alone, it’s important to set ground rules.

“Make sure to communicate clearly with children about what is expected of them when you are not present,” says Kelly Klasek, lead community education instructor at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. “They should have a clear understanding about what behaviors are and are not acceptable when parents are not at home.”

Topics to discuss with your child include:

• Rules for answering the door or phone when you’re away
• Having friends over
• Making snacks
• What to do if a medical emergency or inclement weather occurs
• Internet and telephone use (Adjust parental controls on your computer to block inappropriate content.)

“Parents should let children know what to do or where to go for help in case they need it,” Klasek says. “Keep a list of important phone numbers and a first-aid kit handy for emergencies or in case your child needs to check in with you.”

But Mom, I’m Bored!
While staying at home alone can be exciting, your child also may begin to feel lonely. Have fun activities on hand to fill the time, including:

• Books
• Jewelry-making kits
• Movies
• Origami kit
• Puzzles, such as crossword and sudoku
• Snack items
• Video games

No matter what your child does during his or her time alone, it can be a great step toward young adulthood.

“Staying home alone sets the stage for a new time in a child’s life and encourages responsibility,” Rau says. “This transition can also strengthen your relationship through honest communication.”

To register for one of our Staying Home Alone classes, call 314.454.KIDS (5437) or toll-free 800.678.KIDS.